Surviving The Holidays While Dealing With Divorce

The holidays are supposed to be a time of good will and cheer. For those going through a divorce, however, the situation is often not cheerful and may even be grim. With some thoughtful planning and the right outlook, however, the joyful spirit of the holidays can be preserved. Following the tips below will set you on the right path for a festive holiday season;

1) Quell The Loneliness By Keeping Your Ultimate Goal In Mind – No one enters into a divorce lightly. Even if you were the person initiating the divorce, there are times when you long for your former life when you and your spouse were happy together. The holidays often exacerbate these emotions and unearth feelings of nostalgia. Nonetheless, it is important to remember why you are going through this process. While it is certainly not easy, you can look forward to a more peaceful and happy existence moving forward;
2) Make Plans and Stick To Them – Going through a divorce sometimes leaves you feeling ostracized from friends and family. If you have children, there will be times during the holiday season that they will be spending time with the other party. Friends who are couples may be reluctant to include you in holiday celebrations for fear of choosing sides. To overcome some of these social issues, it is important to take control of your personal situation. Contact those with whom you would like to spend time during the holidays and make plans. Consider a change of scenery. A quick getaway can boost your morale and take you away from difficult memories. Start a new tradition. Think about what will please you and do it;
3) Stay Within Your Budget – It is easy to get carried away financially during the holidays. However, when going through a divorce it is more important than ever to devise a budget for gift giving, etc and stay within it. Overspending can cause additional and unnecessary stress and strain. Consider gifts that demonstrate how much you care, not how much you can spend.
4) Put Your Kids’ Needs Ahead of Your Own – Thinking about what is truly best for your kids will not only help you successfully navigate the holidays but will also help you overall in your divorce and custody matters. While you may bear ill feelings toward your spouse, keep in mind that this person is also the parent of your children. Don’t interpret the excitement your children have for spending time with the other party and his or her extended family as a slight against you or your family. It is typically a benefit for the children to spend some holiday time with each parent and extended family. Don’t deprive the children of that benefit.

While there may be some rough spots as well as some bright spots, keep in mind that the holidays, like the divorce itself, is merely a temporary situation and you will get through both.

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Posted in Divorce
7 comments on “Surviving The Holidays While Dealing With Divorce
  1. That was very useful one. Thanks for sharing with us

  2. My sister and her husband separated and they are now deciding who will be with their children over the holidays. It was explained here that it will be best if they will be making plans in advance. Furthermore, it’s recommended to go to a trusted lawyer when dealing with custody law services.

  3. You are absolutely right, always get the best lawyers for your legal needs to assure high probability of success. Regarding your legal concerns and questions, always ask the best of legal firms.

  4. My sister and her husband decided to separate and they want to do it smoothly. It was suggested here that they both need to stick to their plans even during holidays. Moreover, it’s recommended to hire an experienced divorce lawyer for the best outcome.

  5. I was talking to a friend of mine the other day about her interest in finding a family law attorney. It is nice to know that you can put your kids’ needs ahead of your own with this professional help. Knowing that your child should still see the other party and should not take it personally.

  6. Larry Weaver says:

    Thanks for pointing out how the holidays can exacerbate lonely emotions during a divorce process. My sister has recently decided to separate from her husband after discovering his drug problem. Since I don’t know how long this case will take and how my sister can feel pretty lonely at times, I’ll do my best to help her find a lawyer she can rely on during the divorce process.

  7. If I had to go through a divorce, I would for sure do as you mentioned and stick within a budget. I think people could get carried away when it comes to something like this. That and it would be a good idea to go with a professional.

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The Family Law Focus blog provides highlights, updates and insights on complex family disputes including divorce, division of property, and alimony; child and spousal support; child custody; domestic violence; pre- and post-nuptial agreements; name changes; and adoption or termination of parental rights.
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The Editor

Attorney Jennifer A. Brandt, chair of Cozen O'Connor's Family Law practice, has represented a wide variety of clients in hundreds of family law cases in Pennsylvania and New Jersey. Jennifer is a regular legal commentator on national and local television outlets such as CNN, Fox New Network, HLN, MSNBC, Fox29, ABC News, NBC and CBS and frequently writes and contributes to articles in numerous publications, including the Huffington Post, Fox, The PhiIly Post,,, The Philadelphia Inquirer, The Philadelphia Business Journal, the National Law Journal, and Main Line Today magazine.
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