The holidays are supposed to be a time of good will and cheer. For those going through a divorce, however, the situation is often not cheerful and may even be grim. With some thoughtful planning and the right outlook, however, the joyful spirit of the holidays can be preserved. Following the tips below will set you on the right path for a festive holiday season;
1) Quell The Loneliness By Keeping Your Ultimate Goal In Mind – No one enters into a divorce lightly. Even if you were the person initiating the divorce, there are times when you long for your former life when you and your spouse were happy together. The holidays often exacerbate these emotions and unearth feelings of nostalgia. Nonetheless, it is important to remember why you are going through this process. While it is certainly not easy, you can look forward to a more peaceful and happy existence moving forward;
2) Make Plans and Stick To Them – Going through a divorce sometimes leaves you feeling ostracized from friends and family. If you have children, there will be times during the holiday season that they will be spending time with the other party. Friends who are couples may be reluctant to include you in holiday celebrations for fear of choosing sides. To overcome some of these social issues, it is important to take control of your personal situation. Contact those with whom you would like to spend time during the holidays and make plans. Consider a change of scenery. A quick getaway can boost your morale and take you away from difficult memories. Start a new tradition. Think about what will please you and do it;
3) Stay Within Your Budget – It is easy to get carried away financially during the holidays. However, when going through a divorce it is more important than ever to devise a budget for gift giving, etc and stay within it. Overspending can cause additional and unnecessary stress and strain. Consider gifts that demonstrate how much you care, not how much you can spend.
4) Put Your Kids’ Needs Ahead of Your Own – Thinking about what is truly best for your kids will not only help you successfully navigate the holidays but will also help you overall in your divorce and custody matters. While you may bear ill feelings toward your spouse, keep in mind that this person is also the parent of your children. Don’t interpret the excitement your children have for spending time with the other party and his or her extended family as a slight against you or your family. It is typically a benefit for the children to spend some holiday time with each parent and extended family. Don’t deprive the children of that benefit.
While there may be some rough spots as well as some bright spots, keep in mind that the holidays, like the divorce itself, is merely a temporary situation and you will get through both.